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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Danny Tom-Sawyer-ing Again

My alternate analogy for Trader Dan’s latest machinations was Rumpelstiltskin and while Ainge has not spun gold from straw, he has spun definitive assets from scanty ones.  In the ongoing saga of the Brooklyn heist that keeps on giving, the Bogans’ contract was moved for TPE’s twice in 48 hours.  It is in the details of the outlay and return in these two deals that I find more evidence of Danny’s acumen.

On his new team-a-day plan, Keith Bogans may have set (or at least tied) a record on being on the most teams in a two day period.  The internet ink wasn’t even dry on the opinions of how Bogans might actually play a role, or at least play, on the Cleveland Cavaliers, or perhaps just serve as a trade chip to add a needed player, when presto he joins the ranks of Philadelphia where he almost assuredly will not play. 

The factors in common for these bargains are traded player exceptions, second round draft picks, and the contract formerly known as Keith Bogans.  In moving him to Cleveland, Danny shrewdly used some small piece exceptions to absorb the players returned, gave Cleveland two protected Sacramento 2015 2nd round picks (well, only if the Kings are one of the top five teams in the league [smile]), and Bogans.  In return Danny got the much more useful $5.3M TPE, some non-guaranteed and easily waivable contracts, plus a couple of large (6’10-11”) athletic stretch forward/centers (hmmm, exactly the kind of deep developmental depth you might prefer over veterans unlikely to play a part in the C’s future, cough, cough, [see move, next]) with only a single $0.5M guaranteed contract which would be a minimally painful cut of the 16th man on the roster at the end of camp).  So Ainge ducks well below the Luxury Cap, gets a couple of young athletic bigs on trial, “gives up” only a worthless Sac 2nd rounder and small exceptions of negligible value, and has a bright new 1-year TPE around the size of the MLE along with two more Cleveland second round picks. 

In contrast, two days later Cleveland moves Bogans to Philly, paying them yet another second round pick to take him and getting only a 2015 2nd round pick (well, only if the 76er’s are one of the top five teams in the league [outburst of laughter]) and the now-notorious $5.3M TPE in return.  To repeat and summarize,
Danny sends: Bogans, negligible exceptions, worthless picks, and Bogans,
Danny gets back 5.3 TPE and pick,
Cleveland sends pick and Bogans, and
Cleveland gets back 5.3 TPE and worthless pick.

Breaking news, Danny Ainge is allowing Cleveland GM David Griffin to whitewash Danny’s picket fence and all Griffin had to give Ainge was his pocket knife, a tin soldier, a brass door knob, and a second round draft pick--pictures at 11.  The latest reports say that Brooklyn GM Billy King is still painting Danny’s house but had to give him an apple, six firecrackers, twelve marbles, and multiple first round picks for the privilege.  It has now been reported that all general managers will remove jewelry, cufflinks, and watches before meetings with the Celtics’ executive, and keep one hand on their wallets while Ainge is in the room.  In addition Danny has promised to wear only short sleeve shirts in future encounters with league executives.  The local district attorneys have been quoted as saying “We have ascertained that there are no actionable offenses but are monitoring the activity.  There does seem to be some sense of impropriety, but the only smoking gun was one Bill King used to shoot himself in the foot.”[Discuss on CG Forums!]

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:47 PM

    AWESOME!!!

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  2. I love it! Trader Danny strikes again! I know there's more to come. Just can't figure out what!

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  3. Why, thank you folks. I've always found written humor a most difficult form of expression, some shenanigans just lend themselves to giggles..

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