It's Saturday nite and Mrs. EJA is watching a chick flick with Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. I think I hear music from Dirty Dancing. I need a beer. Naturally I am on the computer watching the fantasy team and being myself. A lot of people don't know this about me, but I like to analyze some things. Like the 2nd Amendment is just hell. Who are "the people"? What are "arms"? What is a "militia"? What is "infringement"? What is "well regulated"? They really just blew that one. Another subject I love is religion. I find it equally confusing. And one of the most famous pieces of religion is the Ten Commandments. It's technically Jewish and Christians use it a lot, so since Saturday is the sabbath for some, and Sunday for others, and it's Saturday nite, sort of between the two times, now is as good as ever to post THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF CELTIC FANDOM! I'm not Celtic God, but this is my reinterpretation ....
1 I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other Gods before me….so draft Celtics and avoid Lakers in your fantasy teams
2 You shall not make for yourself an idol. Don’t ever have a poster of a Laker in your room or allow your kids to have them or your fantasy team will suffer. Bad karma.
3 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not acquit anyone who misuses his name…..don’t ever brag too heavily about the Celtics or say anything bad about them. Let Tommy do the talking for you.
4 Observe the Sabbath and keep it Holy. Thou must watch the playoffs and marquee games that are received by your television. Also thou must listen on the radio if possible. If that isn't available then do your best to go on line and read Celtics Green discussing the games and get the instant updates on espn or yahoo sports.
5 Honor your mother and father…….don’t ever say anything bad about Red. Don’t even think about it.
6 You shall not murder…….Kobe’s not worth it.
7 You shall not commit adultery……but you can definitely make inappropriate comments about hunting for Mexican girls or not needing condoms to Vannessa Bryant or Cookie Johnson
8 You shall not steal. Harassing the opposing player into bad passes is better cause it’s more embarrassing.
9 You shall not bear false witness against anyone. Don’t say something stupid like "Magic Johnson was overrated". Everyone knows it isn’t true.
10 Neither shall you covet anything that belongs to your neighbor. Buy your own damn fake NBA championship rings, SI commemorative hardbound edition, and way overpriced jersey that was made in China or Mexico.